


How the Mighty Falls

by isaakfvkampfer



Series: The Beast Below [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: ABO shenanigans, Alpha!Anakin, Alpha!Qui-Gon, Alpha!Sate, Alpha!Shmi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta!Kinman, Beta!Obi-Wan, Crack, Gen, Humor, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega!Palpatine, Star Wars ABO, The Force sees through all, some smut maybe? and fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-09 03:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8874181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaakfvkampfer/pseuds/isaakfvkampfer
Summary: These crack headcanons definitely didn't happen in my SW ABO universe, or did they?





	1. Qui-Gon, you really don't know, do you?

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for the mistakes. I probably can't even write these tiny snippets and notes in proper English... If you spot any of them, plssssss let me know.
> 
> I wrote my headcanon and posted it here on AO3, but if you don't want to get spoiled, just note these facts:
> 
> 1\. Palpatine was an Omega pretending to be a Beta - of course he was also a Sith Lord in disguise - but before he fucked the entire Galaxy, he had been fucked a lot by his secret Omega status.
> 
> 2\. A trained Force-user was able to see one's ABO status with the help of the Force.
> 
> 3\. The events are mostly consistent with canon. I got inspired by Darth_Videtur's fantastic AU series, EU(mostly the novel Darth Plagueis which I think is also an inspiration for Darth_Videtur) and a lot of wonderful fics on AO3, ff and tumblr.

Shmi Skywalker smiled tightly at the tall stranger in poncho. Anakin was her pride. Yes, she was a slave and an Alpha and Alphas didn't bear children, but every time she would stare people straight into their eyes and tell them the truth.

"This is Anakin, my son."

A little puzzlement passed over his face but in the next moment, he had put on the perfect mask of a warm-hearted gentleman which Shmi had seen a lot. "He's adopted I presume?"

Shmi bitch-slapped him.

Qui-Gon hadn't got the warning from the Living Force quickly enough, apparently.


	2. Hidden in plain sight, the sinful is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chancellor Palpatine was a man of refined taste.

People who got the privilege of entering Chancellor Palpatine's office wouldn't judge him for his taste in arts. Refine, they said in words. A little bit eccentric, they said in their hearts. But who could judge these Naboos? 

If someone asked which adornments had caught their eyes first, 8 out of 10 would say it's those black neuranium statues. Quite solid-looking, they would say.

One day three Jedi Masters would have a say in that, but now only our beloved Supreme Leader knew what really were in them.

Two lightsabers. Three Sith holocrons. 

And a dildo.

After all, a successful Sith Lord must have prepared himself for all... even the unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my SW ABO AU, when an Omega went into Heat, to release that, they either got impregnated by someone with a knot(artificial or not) pressing on their sweet spot or they got penetrated by an Alpha-shaped dildo and used Heat suppressants.
> 
> Yep, for angst, smut and plots.
> 
> In ROTS novel it was stated that Sidious concealed his sabers in the neuranium statues, along with some Sith artifacts. Before, I never made the connection between the TWO sabers he used to fight the Zabrak brothers and the ones he used to slay Jedi Masters and fight Yoda.


	3. Esoteric taste indeed

Obi-Wan sighed. Anakin's room was in a similar if not identical state of his room on Tatooine. He needed a tool to modify one of his saber components and didn't want to go to Master Hu-Yang's place, so here he was.

But before he started his treasure hunt in the junk yard, he needed to make the boy's bed. He swore this would be the last time. The boy was shameless among other things. He had expected that after several times the boy would feel uncomfortable or bad that he needed his Master to make his bed. But no, so far he'd been OK with it.

The young Knight started cleaning the mess with the Force when something pink and bouncy flied out and landed before his boots.

Obi-Wan was stunned.

The sheets landed in a heap on the bed, very similar to the state they had been in.

He used the Force to levitate the thick though not _too_ lively dildo. _Temple-issued._

 _Is Anakin old enough for it?_ He's an Alpha genetically speaking who just had had his 12th birthday. Even if human's ABO status could change when they hit puberty, Obi-Wan had always thought their Chosen One would be a powerful Alpha. Anyway if Anakin got into his first Alpha Heat or turned out to be an Omega, he's sure the healers would inform him immediately. Unless he turned out to be a Beta, one with some... esoteric taste considering his _very_ young age.

And from Obi-Wan's own experience, he thought his padawan was still a boy. Why and how did a child got his hand on something like this?

He looked at the worn instrument again. _Wait a minute, worn?_

 _Oh no._ Obi-Wan blushed horribly. He probably should have put it back to its hidden place before talking to Anakin when he got back. He didn't want to wave it between them when they had the talk.

Obi-Wan turned around and walked back into the living room.

"Master!! Master Tachi and the Bear Clan initiates come to-" A bunch of Jedi Initiates rushed in and landed on Obi-Wan's legs, crushing Anakin on their way, with their blond charger in hot persuit.

There's no serenity, there's chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin needed Bene-rubber for his pet project. He found it. In his Master's room.
> 
> In my original headcanon, Obi-Wan's bisexual, now I am gonna make him a Beta gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide:P


	4. It's an accident but if you don't say I won't too

"But I want to peeeeeeee, Hego. Let me pass!"

Little Hego Damask, like all Muuns, had long limbs even though he's very young. And now he's standing in the middle of a staircase, with his slender arms stretched, palms pressing on the walls, blocking the way. 

"No."

"So you want me to piss on your long face?!" The other boy was a young Toydarian. His little wings were flapping rapidly. Hego counted 30 per second. Twice as fast as the last time he bothered to count. And Hego hated it when other people said Muuns had long faces. The Toydarian's long soft nose is _more_ stupid.

"You can always pee through the window." The little Muun commented.

"Someone would seeeeeeee! Hego let me paaaaass!" The other boy's basically screeching.

"Nobody would see in this weather," Hego pointed at the blizzard outside. "And don't you think that's fun?"

That got the Toydarian's attention. "You think so?"

The shorter boy wanted Hego to like him. It's getting annoying. "Yeah. Think it won't stay liquid long enough. We can check later."

"Alright." The other boy jumped and with the help of his wings he made it in one fluid motion. Hego found that his wings moved slower as he relieved himself.

When he finished he turned around and wanted to jump back but he slipped on the sill.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

Hego counted 4.56 seconds before he heard the final _boom_.

_So the wings did slow it down. Not enough though. What's the point of having wings if you can't fly._

Hego went downstairs and contemplated how he was gonna tell his mother to find him a new playmate.

The voice in his head was snickering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hego Damask, always the nerdy sociopath.
> 
> In Darth Plagueis, it is said that 5-year-old Hego mind-tricked a child who wanted go downstairs first to jump out of the window. It probably has nothing to do with ABO AU though... Muun and Toydarian are not human. I think young Toydarian can't fly very well.


	5. I've thought about her every night since we parted and...

Padme, growing up on a water planet like Naboo, found everything on Tatooine quite dry, except the little boy who had just asked if she's an angel. But his next statement caught her off guard.

"When I grow up, I will marry you and we are gonna have looots of babies."

Padme would slap any man across the face who dared to say something this rude to her, but the little man before her was cute and a slave for all his life so he probably didn't know.

She smiled at him.

The boy beamed.

***

The boy turned into a young man, a quite handsome one. His accent didn't change though.

When the Jedi Padawan was assigned to protect her, all Padme could think was how to get this hottie into her bed. Seeing the love-struck face of Anakin Skywalker, she thought that would be no challenge at all. But-

"Would you marry me, Padme?" Anakin, wearing a boyish expression, said in a gentle voice.

 _Wait, what??_ The younger human didn't seem to notice that her jaw just hit the ground. Maybe he thought she's shocked which's not wrong, though for a different reason. So he kept talking:

"So we can have looooots of babies." He beamed at her.

"Er... Anakin. I... we Alphas don't bear children."

A beat.

"I mean you _do_ know all Naboo Kings and Queens are Alphas, right?"

_Clear not._

"But would you marry me?"

 _Oh that's gonna be awkward._ Maybe she'd sent too many wrong signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah in my SW ABO AU Padme and Anakin are only lovers, friends with benefits. Poor Anakin is still very possesive tho.
> 
> I always thought the line Anakin said to Jar Jar in the movie was 'I've thought about her every NIGHT since we parted and...'. I was like, every night? Since you were 9??? Carrie Fisher saying one of her fans told her he'd thought about her 6 times a day in his teenage days didn't help XD.


	6. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two xxx and One xxx walked into a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's some easier(?) alternative version of the game... Crack, not happening.

 

Sate Pestage didn’t know how they ended up here, in this situation. Usually by this time Kinman was long gone chasing some girls or, sometimes, boys. In the worst situaion, he and Palpatine stayed and talked about politics, again, and finally when the air became too thick with tension, they called it a night and went back to their respective apartment.

That had been the definition of _the_ _worst_ , until tonight.

Out of some miracle - or joke - Kinman didn’t feel like fucking and stayed and he figured Truth or Dare was really fun. _I can’t believe this!_ Sate’d thought that had been something also on Palpatine’s mind, since their boss and friend and something more had been above this kind of... trufling games. But no. He was not. And the result was that he and Kinman did Truth or Dare out of two sets of requests, and Palpatine did Dare exclusively, choosing either man’s. Kinman, drunk and never remembered a thing the next morning, clearly thought in his heart that Palpatine, as a politician, lied with his Sabbac face too well. To Sate’s horror, the Senator had agreed.

So now, after Kinman perfomed his share of Dare which was sneaking a pack of Omega Suppressants into the the pocket of the Alpha male two tables over who’d been clearly trying to hook up with a hot Beta female with his Alpha charm, and Sate answered that he didn’t have any bastard offsprings or any offsprings at all, it’s Palpatine’s time to perform a Dare.

Sate asked first, he needed to find Palpatine a normal one before the insane Naboo came up with a crazy one. Of course, order didn’t matter, but if he gave a relatively easy one, maybe the other man would lose interest. He pointed at three out of seven bottles and the empty glass in front of the red-haired man. “I dare you to down the Corellian brandy, emerald wine and Trandoshan ale cocktail in one shot.”

It would be easy for Palpatine. Physically at least. The Noble man hated spoiling good alcohol.

Kinman grinned. Sate felt the fine hair on his arms standing up. The younger Naboo waved at something behind Sate, and said, ”I dare you to describe in detail what’s happening on that holoTV between the moment I finish and one minute later. You may choose to take either Dare AFTER you watch it first.” He said the words in one breath and started pushing buttons on his coms.

Palpatine looked up and watched in disinterest. Sate turned around and nearly spit all the his wine onto the back of the leather sofa. It’s five minutes past midnight and on Coruscant it’s the time for adult shows to be legally broadcast in entertainment facilities. Sate didn’t know if he should stare at the screen with his friends or face his friends. Classic lose-lose situation. He chose the latter.

Soon Palpatine started narrating in a monotone, face perfectly straight. “The disguised brunette Beta rode the blonde Alpha with his head thrown back and screamed the other one’s name, which I believe is Kevin, at the top of his lung. Kevin nipped at the dent between the Beta’s collarbones with his right hand rubbing circles on the brunette’s buttock and left hand stroking the glans. They continued for another 12 seconds before...”

Sate ignored Kinman’s offhanded comment and his reddened face – thanks to alcohol and himself trying to hold his laughter, not embarrassment apparently – and fixed his attention on the point between his two friends. _Because_ Palpatine had been looking at him all the time. Yes, his words were as dry as those on the instruction book of an astromech droid and as flat as what one saw on any medical books, but instead of feeling bored he felt the other man was talking something extremely dirty. To _him_.

“...ejaculated, if ‘I am coming’ could be used as evidence.” The red-haired politician finished his speech, still staring at Sate like he expected to be applauded. Sate thought the only applause was his balls suddenly clapping together.

“You totally ruined it, Palps. You are no _fun_.” Kinman drawled and turned to Sate like nothing had happened. “Tell us how many girls you’ve slept with or kiss Palpatine. Truth or Dare!”

Sate really didn’t have the mood to play with him. He warned the younger man darkly, daring not to look at Palpatine. “I’d like to see the looks on your face tomorrow. Too bad you won’t remember a kriffing thing!”

“Finish the rest of the beverages or tell us how many girls you ‘ve kissed. Truth of Dare?” Palpatine talked like he hadn’t heard.

 _It’s not happening._ Sate felt betrayed. He couldn’t believe after everything, his two best friends conspired against him in _this_ game.

“You’ve our questions. We don’t hear your answer.” Kinman winked at him.

Sate silently snatched a random bottle and began his journey into drunkness.

When he felt if poked he would turn into a fountain spraying bile-tainted cocktails, Kinman deemed it time to start Palpatine’s second round. Sate was too busy drinking himself under the table in order to end the craziness that he didn’t bother to correct it – it was supposed to be _Kinman’s_ round. As a result, the cheerful Naboo sang, for there’s no better word to describe the musical sound he’s making, “Sheev Palpatine, my dearest friend, promising star of the Republic Senate, I dare you to kiss Sate Pestage.”

 _He sounds like a holy man declaring it’s time for the newlyweds to kiss each other._ Sate wanted to punch himself for the untimely thought. It’s a quicker way to get himself under the table.

From the look on Palpatine’s face, he didn’t approve Sate’s way of wasting fine Naboo blossom wine on his pants. Apart from that, he was still calm. Too calm that the serenity he radiated would put a Jedi Master to shame.

He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and planned to tell Kinman in no way would he drink another bottle of blossom wine to compensate what he’d spat when he felt something soft, warm and moist touching his lips. It was gone a moment later, leaving a stunned Sate watching Palpatine licking his thin lips, their knees touching.

“I think we may have to skip this club next time. The blossom wine is not from Gallo Mountains as they said.” Palpatine commented, stroking the cleft on his chin.

Sate’d never felt his throat as dry as it was now. He spotted something gleaming in Palpatine’s eyes and suddenly the world was shrinking on him and-

-Sate Pestage woke up on something soft but not for a restful sleep. He had to fight the splitting headache as well as the drowsiness and biles in his mouth. Kinman Doriana’s face filled his sight and the drowsiness went out of the window instantly.

Kinman quickly straightened, saving both of them the trouble of bumping heads first thing in the morning.

“What the hell-” Sate tried to stand up but dropped back onto the sofa immediately. Dizziness took up the place drowsiness had vacated moments ago. He was fully clothed so at least he probably wouldn’t need to worry that he’d accidentally slept with his friend. The word felt bitter on his tongue somehow.

The other man seemed truly worried and it's so unlike him, so Sate took the glass of water and pills and washed them down. “You remember anything?” He asked.

Kinman shrugged. “Seems like a good time.”

Sate rolled his eyes. “Your definition of good is different.”

Silence.

The black-haired killer was just contemplating the possilibity that he’d had a surreal and totally unsatisfying wet dream when his comlink beeped. The leading role of those dreams called. Sate sighed. Duties first.

“Sate, find a reliable source to get some Naboo blossom wine from Gallo Mountains for tomorrow’s gala. Open a bottle and test it. Don’t make the mistake like last night. Palpatine out.”

**Author's Note:**

> With the word count breaching 35k in my draft of one story from this AU in Chinese, I really worry I don't have the strength to translate it into English. I guess I post this work here instead of on tumblr to remind myself that I at least have to try. Well, some day.
> 
> Yeah I know. The notes are longer than the fics _(:з」∠)_


End file.
